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Growing up I always felt somewhat
deprived when it came to things, baubles and trinkets. While other kids
ran around in the newest L.A. Gears and sported trendy fashions, I
sported leftovers from the church donation closet. I would get used
charity gifts for Christmas and remember feeling ever envious about the
stylish new things all my friends had over the holidays. I recall how
much I wanted those things.
And then I grew up
Being a teenage mother meant that I didn't get a lot of time or money to spend on myself. It wasn't until I landed a job where I was raking in six figures a year that my shopping demons of days gone by reared their ugly heads, turning my frugal habits on their ear.
I Bought Relentlessly
I had an army of credit cards and I was not afraid to use them, regularly. I snatched up whatever items I thought were bargains or deals sometimes without even checking the price tag. I was an impulse buying queen.
Despite the fact that I was raking in the big bucks, I was spending every cent of what I made; trying to suppress that little girl inside me who always felt deprived.
Each time my husband questioned me about how much I spent, I lied. A $70 sweater became a $10 sweater and a $40 spa day became a $20 spa day. He never knew how bad it was because we kept separate accounts; my lies were never exposed.
The Calm Before the Storm
Even though I had pretty baubles and trinkets galore, my credit card bills kept mounting. And like a dutiful shopaholic, I paid the minimum balance on each one every month and kept opening up new ones to feed my habit. I had become a black hole of spending gluttony.
I didn't just stop at buying clothes, make-up and jewelry either. I bought cars, electronics, furniture and just about everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it, and I did it all in the name of instant gratification. And (you guessed it), I lied about every single cent I ever spent to my spouse, including my outrageous $524 a month car payment.
My Turning Point
It was two in the afternoon. I was once again at the mall. This time, at the Clinique make up counter. As the make-up artist did her work, shellacking me from head to toe, I looked in the mirror, and I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. I felt so pretty in fact, that I dropped $724 on Clinque products that day. There was only one problem; it was $724 I couldn't afford to spend. Yet, even though my palms were sweaty and my pulse quickened, I handed over my card to get swiped one last time before the fallout.
The Wake Up Call
Just a few days after my make-up splurge, I lost my job. I went from making $120,000 a year to $30,000 in the span of just a few months. Now, there was no more money in the bank to pay the credit cards, there wasn't enough to cover my want list and I eventually even lost my car to the bank. Finally, after seven years of gross overspending on everything from wristwatches to wall clocks, I realized I had a problem.
Overcoming
My relationship with my spouse suffered tremendously as a result of my overspending and irresponsibility. My relationship with my children suffered too. My out-of-control spending left us almost penniless, and my lying only compounded the problem. I had to come clean and get clean. The floodgates of truth opened, and every lie I told was exposed. I was in horrible debt and spiraled down into a deep depression.
Kicking the Habit
I admit, it was easy to kick the habit when there was no money in the bank and no lines of credit to fall back on. However, I still couldn't do it cold turkey. I learned the hard way, continue overspending and paid numerous overdraft fees as a result. It took me two full years to retrain myself and regulate my spending to get back to frugality, but eventually I kicked my shopping demons to the curb. I made myself think about how much time at work each purchase would cost me, I avoided malls, I avoided sale signs and I avoided credit cards. It wasn't easy, and it took time, but I got there.
Do I still struggle avoiding impulse buys? Absolutely I do. However, I've learned to look away from the sirens song of stuff and use my smart phone to log into my bank balance, instead of haphazardly tossing things in my cart. Those little numbers on-the-go keep me on the straight and narrow, 100 percent of the time.
And then I grew up
Being a teenage mother meant that I didn't get a lot of time or money to spend on myself. It wasn't until I landed a job where I was raking in six figures a year that my shopping demons of days gone by reared their ugly heads, turning my frugal habits on their ear.
I Bought Relentlessly
I had an army of credit cards and I was not afraid to use them, regularly. I snatched up whatever items I thought were bargains or deals sometimes without even checking the price tag. I was an impulse buying queen.
Despite the fact that I was raking in the big bucks, I was spending every cent of what I made; trying to suppress that little girl inside me who always felt deprived.
Each time my husband questioned me about how much I spent, I lied. A $70 sweater became a $10 sweater and a $40 spa day became a $20 spa day. He never knew how bad it was because we kept separate accounts; my lies were never exposed.
The Calm Before the Storm
Even though I had pretty baubles and trinkets galore, my credit card bills kept mounting. And like a dutiful shopaholic, I paid the minimum balance on each one every month and kept opening up new ones to feed my habit. I had become a black hole of spending gluttony.
I didn't just stop at buying clothes, make-up and jewelry either. I bought cars, electronics, furniture and just about everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it, and I did it all in the name of instant gratification. And (you guessed it), I lied about every single cent I ever spent to my spouse, including my outrageous $524 a month car payment.
My Turning Point
It was two in the afternoon. I was once again at the mall. This time, at the Clinique make up counter. As the make-up artist did her work, shellacking me from head to toe, I looked in the mirror, and I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. I felt so pretty in fact, that I dropped $724 on Clinque products that day. There was only one problem; it was $724 I couldn't afford to spend. Yet, even though my palms were sweaty and my pulse quickened, I handed over my card to get swiped one last time before the fallout.
The Wake Up Call
Just a few days after my make-up splurge, I lost my job. I went from making $120,000 a year to $30,000 in the span of just a few months. Now, there was no more money in the bank to pay the credit cards, there wasn't enough to cover my want list and I eventually even lost my car to the bank. Finally, after seven years of gross overspending on everything from wristwatches to wall clocks, I realized I had a problem.
Overcoming
My relationship with my spouse suffered tremendously as a result of my overspending and irresponsibility. My relationship with my children suffered too. My out-of-control spending left us almost penniless, and my lying only compounded the problem. I had to come clean and get clean. The floodgates of truth opened, and every lie I told was exposed. I was in horrible debt and spiraled down into a deep depression.
Kicking the Habit
I admit, it was easy to kick the habit when there was no money in the bank and no lines of credit to fall back on. However, I still couldn't do it cold turkey. I learned the hard way, continue overspending and paid numerous overdraft fees as a result. It took me two full years to retrain myself and regulate my spending to get back to frugality, but eventually I kicked my shopping demons to the curb. I made myself think about how much time at work each purchase would cost me, I avoided malls, I avoided sale signs and I avoided credit cards. It wasn't easy, and it took time, but I got there.
Do I still struggle avoiding impulse buys? Absolutely I do. However, I've learned to look away from the sirens song of stuff and use my smart phone to log into my bank balance, instead of haphazardly tossing things in my cart. Those little numbers on-the-go keep me on the straight and narrow, 100 percent of the time.
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